(51)
Although I had no real interest in her, I began to feel the same way I had the week before, when I had been introduced to what was for me a new world. However, once that thought had crossed my mind, I began to have regrets.
I noticed a group of female students on the same platform. They were sitting on the next bench but, with an air of indifference, pretended I didn’t exist. They were probably more afraid that I might start talking to them. They soon got up and quickly walked to the far end of the platform. Back in the café, they had done the same, moving off into a corner… I felt like someone had thrown cold water over me.
Finally the train arrived. I got on and sat in the corner with my head lowered. I was extremely tired that evening and went straight home. However, after lying in bed for a while unable to sleep, I got up and took out a piece of paper. On it, I began to write a letter to Renée. I wanted to tell her that the party would be on Saturday. I added that, if this were inconvenient for her, she should call me as soon as she gets back.
It was my first time to write her a letter. However, I found it came easily. (I usually find it very difficult to write formal letters, especially to women I have only just met.) And, strangely, as I wrote, the tiredness I had previously felt lifted.
On another sheet of paper, I began to sketch a map of where I lived. Again, I thought this would be difficult. However, after making a draft, I managed it in two attempts. I told her to get off at the second Metro stop, where she’d find a sporting goods store, a bakery, etc. But when I came to describe the easiest landmark, a Chinese restaurant, I stopped writing.
…………………
別に、その女子学生に興味があった訳ではありませんが、そこから、先週の様に、新しい世界が拓ける様な気がしたのです。そんな思いが一度に頭をよぎり、後悔しはじめました。
私と同じプラット・ホームに、すぐ私の近くに座っていた女の学生達がやってきましたが、私の存在に気づかぬふりをしながら、知らん顔をして、とういうより、私が話しかけるのをまるで恐れている様に、わざわざ、私と反対側の、プラット・ホームの一番端まで、早足に歩いていってしまいました。先程まで、ああして同じカフェーの片隅に座っていたのに．．．．．．と冷水をかけられたような気がしました。
やがて入ってきたメトロに乗り込んで、その一隅にうつむき加減に座っていました。その夜はひどく疲れて、アパートに帰りました。しかし、ベッドにしばらく寝ころがった後、起き上がって、またタイプ用紙を取り出し、彼女に宛てて手紙を書きはじめました。土曜日になったからと知らせる為です。そしてもし都合がわるければ、帰り次第、すぐ電話をしてくれるように書きました。
彼女にはじめて書く手紙です。しかし思いの外、楽に書け（日頃、改まった手紙は、特に、新しく知り合った女性に書く手紙は、ひどく苦労します）書いているうちに、先程の疲れは不思議に消えて行きました。
その次に、別の紙に地図を描きはじめました。これも、かなり苦労すると思っていたのですが、下書きをした後、二回目で仕上がりました。二つのメトロの駅から、近くのスポーツ用品店、パン屋など書きましたが、一番の目印になる中華料理店は書きかけてやめました。
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NOTES
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Phrases/words of interest
拓く – lead, open, offer
～への新しい道を拓く – offer a new avenue for ~
道を拓く – lead the way
～が頭をよぎる – be reminded of~, ~cross one’s mind
気づかぬふり – pretend not to notice
知らん顔をして – as if one didn’t know, as if nothing had happened
早足に歩く – walk fast
片隅 – corner
冷水 – cold water
うつむく – bend (droop) one’s head
うつむきながら話す – look down as one speaks
うつむき考えこむ – bend one’s head in thought
寝ころがる (寝そべる) – lie down
起き上がる – get up, sit up, pick oneself up, recover one’s feet
服を着ようと起き上がる – Get up to get dressed
倒れて起き上がることができるロボット – A robot that can get up after falling over
(人）に宛てて手紙 – a letter to (someone)
帰り次第 – upon returning
本社へ帰り次第結果をお知らせ致します。- I will send you the feedback as soon as I return to the home office.
思いの外 – beyond expectation
日頃 – at ordinary times, everyday, daily, on a regular basis
日頃のストレス – daily stress
日頃から子どもと話をする – communicate with one’s children on a regular basis
改まった – formal, ceremonious, serious
改まった口調で – in a formal tone
あまり改まった感じのしないシルクのシャツはありますか？- Do you have a silk shirt that is not too dressy?
かなり – by comparison, by a large margin, fairly, a fair bit, a significant amount, rather, significantly
かなりいい映画 – pretty good film
かなりうまくやっていく – get along fairly well
下書き – draft, sketch, rough
(～の)下書きをする – make a draft (of)
仕上がる – be completed, be finished
あともう少しで仕上がる – be nearly finished
完璧に仕上がる – be honed to perfection
Posted by Eyeless in Ginza 
